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Abbey is definitely a spirited child.
Never did I want to say this before. . . maybe because I thought that somehow it was a reflection on my own parenting choices or my own emotional hang-ups. Or maybe it was mostly because I didn't want anyone labeling her or excluding her because of who she is.
But after some mindful research and observation, I can tell. Abbey has got the spirit all right! She's got a fire under her bottom, and there's no stopping her. Headstrong. Independent. Sensitive. Opinionated. Strong-Willed. Persistent. Eager. Fiery. Intense. Intelligent. Insistent. Emotional.
And some days, totally and completely exhausting.
Like one of the coaches at her gymnastics training center says of her own spirited child:
"It's not a bad thing. It's just a different thing."
Defining a Spirited Child
Reading up on spirited children, I feel like I am reading about MY child. Abbey is an intense, persistent, sensitive, and perceptive girl. As I read through the online PDF Parenting the Spirited Child (Melissa Penwell, M.A., NCC, LPC) I thought she was writing specifically about Abbey. That's when I finally said it out loud.
"Abbey is a spirited child."
Spirited Children exhibit intensity, persistence, sensitivity, intense energy, and may have trouble adapting to changes. They also are reactive, irregular, and moody. You may be thinking: But these are the characteristics of any child! That was my first reaction, too. But the defining characteristic of spirited children is this:
Spirited children are MORE. Add more to all of the adjectives above, and you'll see the definition of a spirited child. It's the stronger intensity of these characteristics that really defines a child with a spirited soul.
Understanding and Acceptance
This article responding to questions about homeschooling a "Difficult" Child got me thinking. No, I don't think I could ever commit to homeschooling my sweet, spunky, and "sparkly" Abbey. She definitely fits the spirited description, and this makes for a challenging parenting journey already. But God, I love her. . . to spirited little bits, I love that child.
I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells with Abbey and with others regarding Abbey. She really is a firecracker - she could go off with a bang at a moments' notice. But she's also brilliant and kind hearted and so darned interesting and creative. I guess I metaphorically walk around with a giant bazooka aimed at anyone who judges her personality, and that's not a healthy way to live.
So, I'm working on understanding my spirited child and truly accepting the role of her mother - as a helper and not only a protector.
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I'll be talking more about the spirited child and my experiences with my spirited child in the coming weeks, and I have several guest bloggers contributing to the discussion as well. I hope that you come back to view more posts on understanding, accepting, and channeling high spirit in children.
My son is spirited too, and I am always hesitant to tell anyone that because I don't want them to judge him! Looking forward to your future posts :)
ReplyDeleteI still have trouble saying "Abbey is a spirited chid" - KNOW there's nothing wrong with it, but I just fear that people will react in the wrong way. . . spirited children ARE more so they NEED more. More love, more patience, more understanding, more guidance. It in no way means that there is something wrong with them. . . but it sure does feel that way doesn't it!?
DeletePosts lined up once a week all month, and into May. Stay tuned, and thanks for reading!
About 10 yrs ago, the concept of "spirited child" was first being discussed in parenting/educaiton circules. My mom called and walked me through a quiz and told me I was clearly a spirited child. I still get overwhelmed and overly stimulated (driving through Gatlinburg TN makes me have near panic attacks and I can't focus) by my surroundings. I imagine that my son will also have a lot of these qualities so being prepared early is going to be essential.
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